Chinese Dating 💔 The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (Part 2)

Q: How many Valentines Days in China?

There's actually six! 14/2: Valentine’s Day (情人节, qíngrén jié) 14/3: White Valentine’s Day (白色情人节, Báisè qíngrén jié) 20/5: 520, Wǔ'èr líng 20/8: Qi Xi Festival (七夕节, Qīxì jié) 15th Day in Lunar Year: The Lantern Festival (元宵节, Yuánxiāo jié) The 6th one was originally meant for Single folk... no surprise given the fact it's known as Single's Day! We wrote a whole article on this day alone, it's pretty special, but why? Find out in our Single's Day (双十一, Shuāng shíyi) post.

Q: How do you say I am Interested in You in Chinese?

我对你感兴趣。 Wǒ duìnǐ gǎnxìngqu。

Life in China • By Zoe Stephens • March 12, 2019

Dating in China in 2022 💕 The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly (Part 2)

ICYMI - Click here for Part I of our Chinese Dating series — ICYMI – Click here for Part I of our Chinese Dating series

In part 1 of this blog series, we look at the first major cultural differences you may come across when dating in China.

When you think you’re clued up enough on dating Chinese guys, or girls, see below for information on the best Chinese dating apps there are around.

China is a very different culture to what you may be used to, so unsurprisingly there are quite a few cultural differences or things that may surprise you when dating Chinese guys…

ICYMI – Read Part 1 of the series, otherwise, let’s continue below…!

Chinese Dating 💔 The Good, The Bad and The Ugly (Part 1)

Dating in China 🤩 Dating anywhere, you are bound to find some cultural differences and experience culture shock. This goes for Chinese dating too.

Dating in China – A Pat on the Head goes a long way
Dating in China – Being Looked After
Dating in China – Public Displays
Dating in China – Who Pays the Bill?
Dating in China – Parents have the Last Word
Dating in China – They Date for Marriage
Dating in China – Being Direct and Open
Dating in China – The Many Valentine’s Days of China
Dating in China – Dating Apps

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Chinese Dating – A Pat on the Head Goes a Long Way

As an adult, I’ve only ever been patted on the head when dating in China.

I’m not sure about other cultures, but certainly in British culture, a pat on the head is generally used in a patronising way when you want to suggest someone is being childish or naive.

In Asian culture, it is similar to giving someone a touch on the arm, kiss on the cheek, or a cuddle.

Luckily, I watch a lot of Japanese dramas and anime, so I was well aware of the ‘head patting’ etiquette and was quite touched when it first happened to me.

Chinese Dating – Being Looked After

Ladies, ever hated carrying your own shopping bags?

Men, carry those bags!

Or not only shopping bags, but your own handbag or purse? Dating a Chinese guy might be the answer for you.

Coming to China for the first time, I was very confused to see the amount of Chinese grown men carrying round pink fluffy bags or Gucci purses.

I soon realised that these items belonged to their girlfriend or other half that would be walking with them.

Why?

Well, Chinese guys really like to look after their partners. This can be a little too much for many Western girls that like to be independent and get offended when someone holds the door open for them.

Well, I say embrace it.

Yes, you can look after yourself. But it’s always nice being looked after too. However, as I mentioned this can get a bit too much, and you may get sick of the morning “today it will rain so don’t forget an umbrella” text.

Chinese Dating – Public Displays

No, I’m not just talking about the PDAs (public displays of affection) you may come across, or the disgustingly cute couples cuddling and wearing the same clothes as they walk down the street.

No, this time I’m talking about the public displays of fighting.

One you might overhear!

Chinese people fight.

And it is not unusual for them to make these fights public, instead of keeping them private as we may prefer to do in Western culture.

I’ve seen way too many couples in the street screaming at each other, girls having a paddy lying on the floor, or walking off in a huff.

It’s an amusing sight, to be fair. And, well, they get their stuff resolved.

Unlike in the west when things will often go unsaid for a long period of time until it builds up and becomes too much.

Silent treatment is definitely NOT a thing in China!

Chinese Dating – Who Pays?

Paying the bill in China, whether you’re dating in China or you’re with friends, always ends up in a vicious argument or competition of who gets to swipe their WeChat first.

Especially if you’re eating with Chinese people.

Fighting for the Bill happens a lot

Arguing to pay the bill is something you’ll see Chinese people do on a daily basis.

Chinese couples are traditional.

Because of this, it is expected that the girl will pay.

Of course, it depends on your situation (who is working more etc) but generally, it will be kept like this. I have many Chinese female friends who say that with some of their boyfriends, even long-term ones, they never once paid the bill – and they never planned to.

Well, that’s nice.

I’m not going to lie. I like to be treated to dinner. But I also understand that many girls don’t like this, and many like to split. But for me, I don’t mind. In fact, I really enjoy it.

Personally, I’ll often offer and also pay myself (although for this you may need to steal their phone or wallet – literally did this once).

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Chinese Dating – Parents Have The Last Word

Chinese guys listen to their parents. Especially their mothers.

If the mother doesn’t like you – you’re out.

Sorry. So make sure you make a good impression on that first initial meeting!

Chinese Dating – They Date for Marriage

Dating in China – Be aware of the differences

Dating in the Western world has become much more fluid than dating in China.

Many people are starting to want to be more independent and are searching for new experiences, to meet new people, or just generally to have a bit of fun – rather than search for a life-long partner.

For many Chinese people, their entire life and life-goals are based around finding a wife, having children, starting their own family and making their parents proud.

So when you start dating a Chinese guy, it’s best to be aware that he’s probably thinking more seriously than you are – and it won’t be long until talk of marriage is brought up.

Chinese Dating – Being Direct and Open

This may be more of a culture shock for British people who are especially reserved and awkward, but Chinese people, in general, are incredibly forward and open.

The same goes for dating in China.

Never in my life have I been told so many times that I’m fat, that my hair looks bad, or that I should lose some weight.

Luckily, I’m pretty body confident and don’t take it too personally – and I actually prefer the directness.

But this certainly isn’t for everybody, so if you’re sensitive this is something to watch out for! Don’t take it too personally!

41 Ultimate Examples Of Chinese Slang 🤫 Speak Like The Locals

Check out the best ways to speak Chinese in 2021! Chinese Slang is the ultimate way to level UP your Mandarin and we’ve got a ton of excellent examples.

Chinese Dating – Valentines Day(s)

Whilst you are dating in China, you may want to keep an eye out for the many Chinese Valentine’s Days.

The are SIX of them, in fact. All throughout the year.

This includes:

14/2: Valentine’s Day (情人节, qíngrén jié)
14/3: White Valentine’s Day (白色情人节, Báisè qíngrén jié)
20/5: 520, Wǔ’èr líng
20/8: Qi Xi Festival (七夕节, Qīxì jié)
15th Day in Lunar Year: The Lantern Festival (元宵节, Yuánxiāo jié)

There’s actually a 6th one which was originally meant for Single folk… no surprise given the fact it’s known as Single’s Day!

We wrote a whole article on this day alone, it’s pretty special, but why?

Find out in our Single’s Day (双十一, Shuāng shíyi) post.

Chinese Valentines Day 💕 Don’t Forget the Date(s!)

Dealing with one Valentines Day per year is too much for many 💕 Well, count yourself lucky you’re not celebrating a Chinese Valentines Day.

Chinese Dating Apps

So now you’re all clued up on dating in China, how do you go about it?

Dating in China has changed over the years, and it’s no longer the simple ask somebody out on a date, and go for it.

No, that’s way too personal. We are the generation of dating apps.

And China has a bunch of them. We tried and tested the most popular ones out there!

Best Chinese Dating App: TanTan 探探 – The Chinese Tinder

You’ll probably feel most comfortable beginning your Chinese dating search with this Chinese dating app, since it is incredibly similar to what you’re probably used to.

Known as the Chinese Tinder, the interface is similar to Tinder’s and it works exactly the same.

Swipe left, no, swipe right, yes.

This Chinese dating app is also similar to Tinder in that you can create your own profile and set your parameters, and also pay if you want to access the VIP feature.

It’s full of Chinese people so a great way to practice your language skills. Not many will speak English.

Chinese Dating App Pros – This app works better than Tinder (in my opinion) in that is is quicker and generally has more people on it. I guess it helps living in a big city like Beijing though…
Chinese Dating App Cons – Despite my 50k + likes (I know right, ego booster or what) I’ve only ever met up with one person. That’s not because I met the love of my life after the first one. It’s because it’s incredibly hard to get past the first few typical questions here, and is generally used as a hook-up app still.

Best Chinese Dating App: Momo 陌陌

This was the first of Chinese dating apps to cover the whole of China, and originally was the best app for a hook-up.

It has moved on now to get rid of its bad reputation and focus on dating.

Chinese Dating App Pros – The first and biggest of the Chinese dating apps
Chinese Dating App Cons – Difficult to use, confusing interface

Best Chinese Dating App: Baihe 百合 (Bǎi hé)

A Chinese dating app for those serious about dating, and not just looking for hook-ups. This is a popular choice for those looking for a long-term partner.

To set up your own account, you have to have a pretty good life profile.

You will need to provide proof of your name, proof you own a house/apartment and a car, upload your school graduate certification, and your credit score…..

I don’t think I qualify to use this one?

Chinese Dating App Pros – Make sure you’re meeting legit people
Chinese Dating App Cons – Taking itself bit too serious?

Best Chinese Dating App: Blued

Blued is the most popular Chinese dating app for gay people, and it works in a similar way to a messaging app. Set up your profile by sending photo verification, then get going!