Love in China

Love in China – LTL’s Guide to a Different Culture

Let’s talk about something many young Chinese people are worried about : Love in China.

Today it is quite difficult for the younger Chinese generations to find love due to their daily pressures of work and study which are very important in their life. Finding time to go dating in China is a challenge, especially with pressure from parents and friends.

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The pressures of dating and finding love in China

Chinese Idiom: Love at First Sight

Chinese Idiom: Love at First Sight

First of all, it is important to note that most young Chinese people are put under a great amount of pressure to succeed, even from childhood. Due to the one child policy, introduced in 1978 in order to control the country’s growing population, many Chinese parents can’t have another child. This only child is then considered as the future of the family. This child is expected to obtain a high paying job and take care of their parents after they retire, offering them a good life.

So many children of this Chinese generation study and work very hard not to disappoint their parents. The Chinese schooling system is very expensive with some students having to get part time work while trying to achieve these high grades.

The most stressful part of Chinese schooling is the GaoKao which is the entrance exam for Chinese universities.

In this ultra competitive society students are already worried for their future, often added pressures from family and school make everything even more daunting.

Love in China – Changing attitudes towards finding the one

Beside the pressures of school and the time spent studying or working, more and more women would like to have a career before starting a family. This phenomenon is still a new concept, hence a large majority of Chinese society doesn’t understand it and think a woman should prefer marriage over work. As a consequence, being a single 27 year old woman is considered a Taboo in Chinese society and the pressure to marry and have a family is very strong.

Single Markets

Single Markets

Due to the pressure of long working hours in Chinese society, people often don’t have time to meet potential partners, hence it is difficult to find someone to love when you are over thirty. Chinese people often look for more of a life partner rather than a lover. Parents can become really involved in their child’s love life, as can be seen with the now famous, singles markets.

These markets consist of a big meeting of parents holding posters containing all the important information about their child : age, height, salary, phone number (but often no pictures) with the hope to find the perfect match. On the contrary, young women will also have many difficulties to find love as they are notoriously picky about their future husband.

Fei Cheng Wu Rao

Fei Cheng Wu Rao

This can be seen in the growing success of TV shows dedicated to single people, for example the TV show named Fei Cheng Wu Rao (‘If you are the one’ in English), in which 24 women judge men who introduce themselves one by one. A young woman became viral sensation due to her shocking statement, “I’d rather cry on a BMW than laugh on your bike”. The sentiment of this, clearly shows the priorities of many of the young Chinese women today.

More and more people are too busy with their work, resulting in difficulties finding love and so have now turned to signing up to online dating websites. This had led to this becoming a fast growing industry in China!

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The statistics of love in China

Love in China

Love in China

According to a census analysis by Wang Feng, director of the Brookings-Tsinghua Center for Public Policy in Beijing, an estimated 7 percent of college-educated women in Shanghai remain single at age 45—“a significant change from the past,” he emphasizes. Wang calculates that in urban China the number of never-married women ages 25 to 34 is about 7 million A survey in Beijing in 2003 found that half of women with a monthly income of 5,000-15,000 yuan (roughly $600-1,800, an indicator of university education) were not married. Half said they did not need to be, because they were financially independent emphasizing the changing attitudes in Chinese culture towards marriage.

The Economist composed an interesting article on this issue in 2011, discussing the overall trend in Asia. Due to the burden of the one child policy, sex selective abortions are becoming more prevalent. A 2010 study found for every 100 girls born, that there were 118 boys. This changing demographic of the country is also continually making it harder to find love in China. What do you think about finding love in China? Should we work less in order to find go dating? Can work and love be compatible? Is love the most important thing of all?

 This article was translated from the French article from our French site.

More about Love in China?

Enjoy the article and want to know more about love and dating in China…

  • Top 10 Chinese Apps – Number 10 is one that’s great for meeting local Chinese and going on dates!
  • Dating in China – An eye opening experience about what it’s really like to date Chinese.
  • Qixi Festival – One of China’s many Valentines Days! Learn about it with LTL

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